For some reason, I felt a bit blue last night. I don't know what it was, but I had been feeling down since I left work. Work went well today, so I know that's not the problem. I was really missing my friends and family last night. I wish it knew what triggered these episodes. It's like a feeling of great sadness and longing. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I feel. I hate everything about myself. It's a pity party, and I know it. I'll be all right, I know, but the only solution for last night was to go to bed early and wake up hoping today is a better day.
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
I don’t believe you.
When you tell me something must be wrong with you,
that you feel broken or less than good enough,
and that you are the reason you are alone.
I don’t believe you.
You see yourself through the cracked lenses,
of another persons life and some how expect me
to see you the same way they did.
You don’t believe me,
when i say you’re everything you should be
and that all the things and all the pieces
are in all the right proportions.
You don’t believe me.
I see you with my own eyes,
unclouded by the self doubt you feel
and what i see is clear:
A treasure that could never be replaced.
You, yes you, just as you are.
You are someone I wish to know.
You are someone I place value in.
YOU are someone that a person like me,
would love to call my own.
You don’t believe me when I tell you these things,
and I will never believe those things about you.
Monday, August 22, 2016
Isabella is a classic beauty. I was looking at her face this weekend and it is such perfectly proportioned. There is no doubt she is female, because she has soft beautiful features. As she gets older, I can now tell that she is not all black, but has white hairs here and there. It just adds to her charm.
Isabella is also a wonderful companion. She's never more than a few feet away from me. She follows me from room to room. She is insistent that I tell her goodbye when I leave or she begins to cry quite loudly. I'm not sure what she does when I am not home, but I suspect she sleeps because that is what she does when I'm home during the day.
While she likes to be near me, she doesn't like to snuggle. She's not big on being held either. However, when I lay on the bed, she is never more than a foot away. When I turn out the lights to go to bed though, she sleeps either under the covers or under the bed. She does do a little roaming at night. Occasionally making lots of noise. She is an early riser too. She likes to wake up between 5 am and 6 am, while I tend to sleep until at least 7 am.
Sunday, August 21, 2016
For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
While some biblical interpretations of the Bible condemn gay sex between men, it nowhere condemns being a lesbian. Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 mention men having sex with other men, but say nothing of women having sex with other women. In the Sodom and Gomorrah account in Genesis 19, the men of the cities wanted to gang rape other men. First Corinthians 6:9 mentions effeminate men but does not mention lesbians. While the above passages are often taken out of context to condemn male homosexuality, they in no way do so, but that is a post for a different time. This post is to address love between women. It was a request I received in an email.
Only one verse in the Bible refers to women being with women: Romans 1:26. However, this passage discusses pagan temple prostitution, not lesbians having sex. In The Message's translation of Romans 1:26-27, it puts it this way:
Worse followed. Refusing to know God, they soon didn’t know how to be human either—women didn’t know how to be women, men didn’t know how to be men. Sexually confused, they abused and defiled one another, women with women, men with men—all lust, no love. And then they paid for it, oh, how they paid for it—emptied of God and love, godless and loveless wretches.
While Leviticus can be used to condemn homosexuality (and the Old Testament is just that old and outdated by the New Testament), the Bible does not mention lesbians. Why doesn't Leviticus mention lesbians? Most likely because these passages are not talking about homosexuality as much as same sex lust. Same sex love is far different. One might argue that it did not seem important because women were not important during ancient times, but we know of female rulers of the ancient Hebrew, so that argument becomes invalid. Women were as important as men in Hebrew tradition.
The truth is that the Bible does not condemn homosexual love, whether it be between men or women. The concept of homosexuality as it is today was foreign to the writers of the Bible. Lesbian and gay relationships are not godless or loveless, but filled with God and Love. Homosexual sex only becomes a problem when it is godless and loveless.
Saturday, August 20, 2016
Friday, August 19, 2016
There were a thousand different things I could talk about, but honestly, I have nothing to say. I could give an update on Isabella, who's doing great by the way and is rarely more than three feet from me. I could talk about my depression because I was feeling a bit low last night. I could talk about how busy I have been at work which is fantastic and I love every second of it. I could talk about the dinner I had with a wonderful and lonely older lady, we talked and laughed and had a grand time. I could talk about any of these things but I'm just not in the mood to make a full post of them.
So instead, this is what I will do. If you have a question for me, ask it. I will do my best to either answer it in a comment or it will be my Monday post. Ask me anything you want, and you are quite likely to get an answer.